Have some really gross stuff come out of your butt

If you have Gmail, you've noticed how you sometimes get random ads that pop up. This one was "Photos - this site guarantees to removed really gross stuff from your gut." Now I like gross stuff as much as the next guy, but this link was almost too much.

It's a colon cleanser with lots of pictures of peoples' results, i.e. poo. Apparently it's some kind of a contest. But what are these people eating? It looks like they pooped out a tapeworm or their intestine. It's pretty gross, but at the same time oddly fascinating.

WARNING: Don't click if you don't want to see actual pictures of messed up looking poo. It's really gross, I'm telling you. Don't say you weren't warned.

Link

"Liverpool struggles to contain Kaka"

First off, I don't think there should be poo in the liver anyway, I'd see a doctor immediately. But if they mean the city (or the soccer team), then that sounds unpleasant. I'd hate to see a city full of Englishmen or an entire soccer team unable to contain their poo. I'd suggest taking some Pepto Bismol, it works wonders. Stay away from undercooked bangers and mash and don't drink the water.

Link

The Poop Bill

Now here's a reason to get involved in politics! In Minnesota, a bill nicknamed the Poop Bill is in the state house to allow people with Crohn's Disease, which causes sudden diarrhea, access to employee restrooms. It was brought to attention after a girl pooped herself in an Old Navy, although I would think that reaction would be more common at Abercrombie.

In any case, the bill was sponsored by a state senator from the Democratic-Farmer-Labor Party, which sounds like some of kind German political party, but is actually just the Democrats merged with a third party. Interesting.

The article

Food-safety experts share some advice: ‘Don’t eat poop’

I guess I should be a safety expert. "Don't shoot yourself in the face. Don't stick your finger in the garbage disposal. Don't eat poop." The last piece of advice comes from Doug Powell of the Food Safety Network, which he founded at the University of Guelph, Canada. Those Canadian academics are clearly about 400 years behind the rest of the world when it comes to sanitation. I hope there's not a bubonic plague outbreak up there, they'll probably blame it on ill humor or the wind or something. Thanks Doug!

Link

"Poop does not lie"

You got that right. The Hampton Roads, Virginia area has been inundated with nutria, rodents kind of like beavers or otters, that have been pooping all over the place. In Louisiana, people just go around shooting them. But in the state that is for Lovers, they're seeing what they can do.

Article

PS - sorry for not updating this shit in forever. Ha, get it?

"Hundreds of pale bottoms all lined up in a row."

Apparently people in China don't like it when their bathroom habits are made fun of. A Taiwanese TV personality teased those in what we used to call Red China about public toilets, saying most don't have doors and that she saw "hundreds of pale bottoms all lined up in a row" at one public toilet. While that doesn't seem so offensive to me, I guess public pooping is a sensitive issue in China. Chinese bloggers are up in arms: the article says blogger Gu Siqing fumed "If you are still Chinese and you have any conscience, you must apologize!" Then again, I'm sure if they don't protest against it, the government would send them to Tibet or something. The Taiwanese star said she was hurt by the reaction, and that she her name was "smeared." Thankfully she did not explain what she was smeared by.

Man killed while pooping on subway tracks

A poo-operative in Nueva York sent this to me. A man was killed near the Greenpoint Ave subway station in Brooklyn while trying to relieve himself. The always sensitive NY Post called it a "toilet train." But now you know - if you are in the subway, poop while already in the car. Not on the tracks.

NY Post article
NY Daily News

David Blaine poops in a tube

Read this today, David Blaine is spending a week underwater, "relieving himself" through a tube. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't like to see a skinny magician crapping in a tube underwater. But uh, good luck man.

"Corn eater sets world record at festival"

Now this is just shoddy journalism. The first thing that comes to mind is "man, I hope he has a super size toilet." That can't be fun.

Article

At Madsci.org, they talk about why we can't digest the outside of corn kernels - we don't have the enzymes. The insides we can digest just fine. The band Korn, however, is digestible by only certain people - those who like bad music.

"Make Poop" - the song

Saw this on Youtube. The song "Make Poop" by Mr. Safety. A true classic.

Enjoy