Tuesday, May 29, 2007

"Hey mom, let's go TP our teacher's house"

Now this is a heartwarming tale of the joys of motherhood. A loving mother takes seven wee babes on a family excursion - to TP their teacher's house. Apparently only one of the kids belonged to the mom, and she got a ticket for contributing to the delinquency of minors.

It makes one think though, how do seven 12 and 13-year olds convince a mom to drive them to their teacher's house to throw toilet paper all over it? And did she help? Don't get me wrong, I've TPed (or "rolled" as some call it) my share of houses, but my mom never drove us there.


Have some really gross stuff come out of your butt

If you have Gmail, you've noticed how you sometimes get random ads that pop up. This one was "Photos - this site guarantees to removed really gross stuff from your gut." Now I like gross stuff as much as the next guy, but this link was almost too much.

It's a colon cleanser with lots of pictures of peoples' results, i.e. poo. Apparently it's some kind of a contest. But what are these people eating? It looks like they pooped out a tapeworm or their intestine. It's pretty gross, but at the same time oddly fascinating.

Don't click if you don't want to see actual pictures of messed up looking poo. It's really gross, I'm telling you. Don't say you weren't warned.


Wednesday, May 23, 2007

"Liverpool struggles to contain Kaka"

First off, I don't think there should be poo in the liver anyway, I'd see a doctor immediately. But if they mean the city (or the soccer team), then that sounds unpleasant. I'd hate to see a city full of Englishmen or an entire soccer team unable to contain their poo. I'd suggest taking some Pepto Bismol, it works wonders. Stay away from undercooked bangers and mash and don't drink the water.


Wednesday, May 16, 2007

The Poop Bill

Now here's a reason to get involved in politics! In Minnesota, a bill nicknamed the Poop Bill is in the state house to allow people with Crohn's Disease, which causes sudden diarrhea, access to employee restrooms. It was brought to attention after a girl pooped herself in an Old Navy, although I would think that reaction would be more common at Abercrombie.

In any case, the bill was sponsored by a state senator from the Democratic-Farmer-Labor Party, which sounds like some of kind German political party, but is actually just the Democrats merged with a third party. Interesting.

The article

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Food-safety experts share some advice: ‘Don’t eat poop’

I guess I should be a safety expert. "Don't shoot yourself in the face. Don't stick your finger in the garbage disposal. Don't eat poop." The last piece of advice comes from Doug Powell of the Food Safety Network, which he founded at the University of Guelph, Canada. Those Canadian academics are clearly about 400 years behind the rest of the world when it comes to sanitation. I hope there's not a bubonic plague outbreak up there, they'll probably blame it on ill humor or the wind or something. Thanks Doug!